Life’s Luminescent Garden

Grackles perch themselves along the various feeders placed in front of the windows. Their black feathers shimmer in beautiful hues of blues, purples, and greens. Their piercing eyes, bright yellow, look intensively at their surroundings and their voices sing various pitches much like their cousins, the beat-boxing starlings. Finches perch themselves along with these grackles. Their feathers don’t shimmer with my eyes but they vary in greys, reds, and yellows. Robins run across the flower garden and swoop in to enjoy some peanuts and sunflowers. Their feathers distinctly blackish grey with vibrant orange-bellied feathers. A thirteen-lined ground squirrel partakes in the gathering, eating what is dropped to the ground. This little brown-furred guy with white lines and dots along the back and a yellowed underbelly lives in the flattened area of the roof’s downspout.
Life is all about the journey. If you aren’t willing to take the seconds to admire something so simple as the tiny daisy that found its way out of the dry brown grass, rooting its stay inside the thick clay-like ground or the beautiful animals that share a space, then can we say we’re actually living? Life is about all the stops along the way, even the ones you don’t particularly enjoy. It’s about being a part of the world, in our own way. And I know that some days, we aren’t looking for the daisies, but rather we’re looking for a reason to wake up in the morning. Let that reason be the warm breath of the sun or the cool mist hugging you on a cloudy day whichever you may prefer, but let it keep you steady. Steady like the stem of the daisy that is thrashed in the wind, but fed by the rain and the sun from root to stalk. Let your breath connect to something and if your breath can’t find that connection, then perhaps you must walk and journey on until you find it. Find the reasons because they exist; they are out there.
Sometimes it is one step at a time or one breath at a time. And I especially know that it’s been extremely difficult for some of us. Depression held no bounds when it came to these past few years, but if we really take a moment to think about it, depression has never had any boundaries. I think we all know someone who suffers from it or we’ve hit that bottom of the barrel feeling ourselves. Perhaps we’ve molded our bodies to the shape of our beds like kinetic sand. Depression holds all the strings until we choose to cut some of them and find some kind of help or some kind of way to expel the feelings. Until we are no longer the puppet, but the puppeteer. For me, I find my solace in nature, animals, and writing. And I also find it within the interactions I’ve had with family and friends, which isn’t where everyone finds it, but for me it holds true.
The connection between us and others or us and a piece of the earth has been almost severed and for me, this year has definitely felt like I’ve been falling into a deep dark pit. And I’ll admit some days it’s hard, emotions and anxiety tag team until I can’t take any of it and I’m left staring at an empty space on my wall wondering if all I have is that empty space and wondering if all I will know is that emptiness. Admittedly, the root of these feelings is probably a combination of seasonal depression and having to socially distance for over a year. However, there are days when I feel completely inspired and these emotions are pushed away like a wave in the ocean, tumbling blues and crashing white foams.
What inspires me most is nature. It’s also my comfort and where I go when I need to find happiness. And believe me, we all need happiness. Perhaps we can find it together or at least share some of those moments. Perhaps I can bring a little laughter into your life as well as my own; it is the best medicine without that hefty bill, no need to be ‘popping those tags’. So, this isn’t only my journey into a healthier mind, it’s going to be ours. We’re going to explore those moments in time and absorb everything about it we can. We are the sponge and the world is our bacteria and water.

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